Video Games I'd Never Admit to Playing

I am a proud gamer, and I don't typically hide the fact that I spend hours of my free time with a controller in my hands. There are a few games, however, that I'd never admit to playing—if, of course, I ever played them. Just as I would never let anyone catch me watching a Disney sequel or reading 50 Shades of Gray, some games just need to remain a secret.

1) Monster Monpiece

When I first heard about Monster Monpiece for the PS Vita, I was really excited. I love trading card games, and I was hoping that this would be like a video game Magic: The Gathering. Alas, it turned out to be a game I would never, ever play in public. The monsters who fight for you in Monster Monpiece are represented as scantily-clad, probably-underage girls. Even worse, to level them up... you have to rub them. And I'm not talking about giving them a pat on the head. 

I'm willing to do a lot of things for the sake of a video game, but jerking off my PS Vita isn't one of them. At least as far as you know. 

2) Cooking Mama

Games in the Mama series, which include Cooking Mama and Babysitting Mama, definitely have a fan base. But if I had ever played one of these games, I would never admit it to you. As a modern woman, I can't escape the feeling that whenever someone plays this game, it sets womankind back by about sixty years. 

Is this game a trap designed to lure women back into the kitchen?  

3) Bulletstorm

Bulletstorm is a shamelessly crass shooter in which the characters are stunningly obsessed with dicks. I don't know about you, but I'd never play a game with such childish dialogue.

Nope. Never. 

4) Hannah Montana: The Movie

Is the platinum really worth it? Really?

It is if you like Hannah Montana. Don't worry, I won't tell on you.